I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
