All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
