shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
