yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
