On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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