I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
