Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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