She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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