Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
