what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I am available for nakedness
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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