Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
