I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
