Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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