Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
