Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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