Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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