my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
