i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
