dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
