she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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