Betty ford says i'm here all night
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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