At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
