She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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