He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
