And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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