I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
