the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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