She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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