I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My bed smells like the plague
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
