I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
