Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
