I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
