how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
