I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
