1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
