is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
