I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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