what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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