Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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