Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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