singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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