Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
