Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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