I wanna bring you to show and tell
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
