The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
