Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
