I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
