Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
