You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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