Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
