Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
